Why does the church emphasise on honouring the senior members than loving the senior members? Isn’t it more practical to love our elderly members than honouring them? Normally, we would know how to love the elderly, because all of us know how to take care of our elderly members. But those who take care of elderly members don’t necessarily know how to honour them. Last month, the Ministry of Social and Family Development made this announcement: Those who abused the elderly increased by 100% these 2 years.

It’s not that they don’t take care of their elderly members, but they abuse them instead of honouring them. Confucious said, “Many thinks that once they take care of their elderly parents, it means they’ve honoured.” But many can take care of dogs and cats as well. If you don’t honour your elderly, what’s the difference between taking care of your pets and parents? Therefore the church emphasises on honouring the elderly. It’s not because of what Confucius said, but because of what God tells us. We read Leviticus 19:32;

‘‘You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord .’

God wants us to honour the elderly not just in our hearts and mouths, but rather with our actions, that you must rise those before those who are grey-haired. Just like what Dn Chung Ling told us to do just now, we don’t have to wait for others to tell us to rise. When we see an elderly member, we ought to rise and give our seats to them. When elderly people speak to us, those seated should rise. Use your actions to show that you honour the elderly. If our parents are well-learned and have good qualifications, we’ll honour them. If our parents are wealthy, we’ll do so as well. If our parents are poor and sickly, will we do the same way?

An elderly general about to retire took a few soldiers on a train. Another elderly person entered the same cabin, but there were no more seats. None of the people seated stood up to give the seat. This general stood up and offered the seat to the elderly, after which the soldiers did so too. This general told them curtly, “if you don’t even give up your seat to the elderly person, what’s the meaning of giving up your seat to me? You’re not honouring me because I’m elderly, but because of my position. You’re not honouring the elderly but power.”
We honour the elderly not because of their power, knowledge or wealth, but because our God wants us to honour the elderly. As long as they’re the elderly, we should honour them regardless of their background, especially the elderly in our homes. If you don’t know how to honour the elderly especially those at home, God will severely punish us. We read Leviticus 20:8-9;

8 ‘And you shall keep My statutes, and perform them: I am the Lord who sanctifies you.
9 ‘For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him.’

When you read this, don’t you think those who dishonour them shall be punished? As long as you curse them, you shall be put to death - Is the punishment too harsh?

In the Qing dynasty, they had a law. If anyone abuses his elderly parents above the age of 60, he shall be put to death. The Bible is not alone in its severity but in countries with a strict moral code it also emphasises this. Why does God want to punish so severely those who don’t honour their parents? This is because honouring parents is the most basic of virtues. There’s a saying, “Out of all the virtues, honouring our parents is the first. If one does many kind deeds but is not filial, this person’s is not really or truly good. This is because honouring one’s parents and being filial is the utmost virtue. This is also said by Confucius. You may be very courteous to others but if you’re harsh to your parents, your courtesy to others is only a show. What relationship do they have with you? Perhaps it’s a transactional relationship, but is this relationship greater than your parents who brought you up? If just for the sake of a little benefit you’re already so polite, why are you not to your parents?

Out of the 10 Commandments, the first 4 are to God and the next 6 are toward men. Out of the 6, the first is to honour our father and mother. Paul also especially points out that out of the 10 commandments comes with a promise. The promise is said by God, that those who honour their parents will have a long life. This shows how much God esteems people who honour their parents because even such basic teaching can be obeyed by this person. This person will be blessed.

On the other hand, those who don’t honour their parents, God will severely punish. We need to honour our parents. We didn’t grow up on our own, our parents took care of us and helped us grow up. Not every parent has the ability to give their children’s very luxurious life but parents have put in their best to take care of their parents even if they’re poor. They try to pull up their pants but will still work to feed the children. If you tighten up your pants when you’re hungry, you feel less hungry. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to eat when you tighten your belt. This action just helps you to stay off your hunger a little longer.

Many parents do this - they tighten their belts but let their children have their fill. Even though it may be tougher for them, they persevere through their suffering and toil to let their children study. Perhaps those children in wealthier families may not experience such love, but coming from a poor family, the speaker experienced his parents suffering to bring them up. This display is already enough for us to unconditionally love them.

There was this journalist who was in Vietnam and made a video. When he returned, he showed his friends this video. In this video, there were many fleeing their lives. Suddenly a machine gun was heard, and you see that one by one who was fleeing fall. A friend told him off, “What are you showing us? This is the documentary you took to win a prize, and you ask us to appreciate your art?”

The journalist didn’t reply, and he played this video back. He paused and pointed to a certain person, “Did you notice? Many who after being shot fell forward. This person slowly squatted down.” His friends didn’t know the difference but saw that his (journalist’s) eyes were moist.

When all these people left, the journalist ran forward and wanted to see why this person was squatting down. He saw that this person was cradling an infant. This mother has been shot but was afraid that her infant would be injured and fought through the pain and slowly squatted down so her infant wouldn’t fall. She was going to die but she tried her best so she could place her infant on the ground gently before she died. This documentary shows us the cruelest form of a massacre, but it also allows us to see the greatest love, that is - a mother’s love. She fought through and lived a little while longer so she could place her infant gently down onto the floor.

It was a few seconds, but do you know how deep that pain was? The speaker believes that every parent loves the children unless they aren’t quite right. Every parent would have suffered many difficulties for their children. From the child being conceived, the mother would have to go through many difficulties. After carrying the child for a laborious 9 months, then it’s the pain of child-bearing. Even though the child is born, the pain has not left. The parents have to endure the various pain that comes along with the child. Every illness the child has, every quarrel the child has, every late night the child stays out, every little thing the child does affects the parent’s heart and it makes them sad, worried and pains their heart. Now we’re grown up and have become parents of others and we can understand the pain our parents have been through for us. Now that you understand your parents a little better, isn’t it time to honour them?

There was this old folk’s home with a sign saying, “On this earth, there are 2 things you cannot wait for. The first is to do good and the second is to honour your parents”. Our parents won’t be with us forever. One day no matter how much you call, your parents won’t reply. At that time, is it a sense of guilt or is there no sense of guilt at all in your heart? For us not to have this sense of regret, let us honour our parents when we still have the chance.

God doesn’t want us to merely honour our parents but to help us as well. We read 1 Timothy 5:4;

‘But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. ‘

In the church, there was a fund to support the widows who had no one to lean on. Those who do not have anyone to rely on, the church can take care of them. So Paul reminded them, “if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first show piety before them.” God just not just want us to honour our parents, at the very least, we must take care of our parents. This is what we ought to do. We need to learn how to act with our filial piety. Let us not be ungrateful people who forget. We didn’t grow up on our own, and your friends and teachers didn’t help you grow up, so why do you love your friends and teachers so much but you don’t love your parents? Do you think that you should be like this? We need to learn how to be filial to our parents and repay the grace because this is acceptable before God. You think that no one sees but God is always watching.

When our parents are old, most would not be working and don’t have any source of income. Some of them may have a source of passive income (e.g. rent) but most won’t have a source of income at all. They would have to rely on their children to take care of them. Children have to have this responsibility to take care of their parents. There’s this saying, “If this set of parents take care of 10 children, these 10 children may not necessarily have the ability to take care of their parents.” It’s not that they don’t have the ability, but that they don’t want to do it. The first brother asks the second brother to take care of their parents, then the second brother asks the third brother to take care of the parents, and so on. These people may be very learned but don’t have the basic to take care of their parents and push away the responsibilities to take care of their parents. God will see and God will punish.

There is this story:
A young person was complaining about his ill parents and this person put his elderly parents into a basket, bring him up to the mountains and left him there. He brought his young son with him and when he came down, this young son told his Father, “Father, we have not brought back the basket we used to bring grandpa up.” The father said, “it’s okay, we have no use of the basket anyway.”

Hearing this, the young child told his father, “We’ll have a use for it! One day when you’re old, I’ll use this basket to bring you up as well!” This father realises and told his son “I was wrong and shouldn’t be this selfish, let’s go bring your grandfather home.”

However you treat your parents, your children are looking. How you treat your parents will be the way your children treat you. God wants us to honour our parents to help them through the autumn of their life. Another way we can help them is to help them so that their hearts have peace and can have joy. We read Proverbs 10:1;

‘The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.’

Are you a wise son or are you a foolish son? Do you make your parents glad or worry? If you know your parents once suffered so much for you, then in their later years other than providing them food to eat, most importantly we need to let them be happy. To bring them happiness we need to consider how they would feel. For our elderly parents, their bodies will slowly grow old and will also slowly deteriorate. They’re not as mobile to come and go as they wish. There are many old who don’t want to travel far for health reasons. This is something the speaker couldn’t understand when he was younger and thought it was an excuse. However, once your own body gives you problems, you’ll find that there are many things you cannot do. There are many ways your body starts to deteriorate but it’s not very convenient to tell it to others. You see people your age one by one leave and the loneliness felt is elevated. There’s a saying that your good friends are like the flower petals dropping one by one, and you don’t know which petal you’ll send off next.

Very long ago the speaker wrote this poem to use for one day when he’s old. At that time, the poem resonated with him. Now it’s not a resonation, but the feeling of sorrow, “Who will see who off first?” The loneliness and pain become more and more severe and these things are very hard to speak about. But we have to face these things. If as children we can understand their feelings and helplessness, to show them a little more concern and comfort, it’ll bring to them a sense of warmth to their hearts and be happy. Just a simple greeting and short conversation is not very difficult for you but to the elderly, it’s very precious. The elderly around you won’t take up too much of your time and may even chase you away but if you’re willing to spend some time with them, they’re already very happy.

We read 1 Timothy 5:1-2;

1 ‘Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers,
2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.’

Paul especially reminds the young to not rebuke an older man. The old people may have their faults as well. They may have many old habits (老毛病) and others may have a headache about it. But let’s not grow weary and tired of them because of it because who knows, when you grow old, you may manifest even more of these problems. As you learn how to be patient and endure, your children will also see you learn and endure as well. To our older parents, we need to be patient with them. You can control it, and you can ask God to help you. As we’re learning, we can also ask our children to tolerate and understand us. Sometimes the elderly also want to control their temper and change, but they need time. If we don’t give them time and tolerate and immediately flare-up, and no one is willing to accommodate, then both sides will suffer. If the children can tolerate and assure them it’s okay, the parents will feel guilty and know they’re in the wrong.

Thus, Paul reminds the young to not rebuke an older man harshly. It’s not that you cannot remind him, but the key is not to rebuke him harshly. To deal with the elderly’s loneliness, you need to spend more time with them. Whatever they need, we have to put in the effort for what they want. It’s not that the elderly are greedy for money when they ask you for a little more money to support them.

The other day the speaker was taking a bus and overheard a conversation. One elderly person said, “My son gave me $100 and made so much noise. It’s not as if the $100 is for me but sometimes I have to treat my relatives to a meal. He goes out to treat his friends to meals and spend $100+ and doesn’t make any noise at all.” Some people when they’re older have to entertain their friends. Every elderly’s needs are different, and we try our best to satisfy. We see young children asking parents for things. Our parents may scold us but in the end, they still give us what we want. But now that they’re old, there are some requests we ought to fulfil.

Once a year, we have senior members’ day, but in our households should be senior members’ day every day.