Is it right for you to be angry?

Jonah 4:4, 9
God asked Jonah this same question twice. When God first asked Jonah in v4, “Is it right for you to be angry?”, at this point in time, Jonah didn’t seem to answer. v5 records he went out of the city and sat on the east side. When God asked again in v9, Jonah’s answer for audacious. He retorted against God. It even comes across as rude. “It is right for me to be angry! Not just to be angry, even to death I have the right to be angry!” Before this, we already saw how Jonah reacted. When he was angry, he said it was better for him to die than to live (v2-3). The last part of v8 shows Jonah wished death upon himself, thinking it was better than living.

Jonah’s reaction was like throwing his toys in the corner. When God asked him the second time if it was right for him to be angry, his response was like a child talking back to his parents.

Have we been angry before in our lives? We have definitely been angry at some point in our lives. At that point, did we think we were right and reasonable for being angry? Take some time to reflect: have there been occasions we were angry and reflected subsequently “I feel so embarrassed. Why was I so angry? Why did I do those things when I was angry?” Many of us probably have had such experiences.

We don’t know if Jonah reflected upon his anger because the Bible doesn’t record it. But let’s reflect on the times we felt angry. At that point in time, we probably felt we were right to be angry. Perhaps deep inside we may not think so, but on the surface we believe we were right. Later on we might regret. Or perhaps we don’t regret but we keep justifying ourselves in our heads that we were still right.

As Christians, it’s very important for us to learn from examples in the Bible. Are you still angry today? Is there any anger we still harbour in us today? If so, are we right in being angry? Like Jonah, we often think we are right. Really? Let us examine ourselves.

This sermon will use some biblical examples to help us reflect upon ourselves.

Firstly, we have to understand the real reason why we are angry. Often when we are angry, we have not deeply reflected upon ourselves on why we are angry. Secondly, we have to honestly reflect whether we are truly reasonable. If we are not reasonable, how are we going to face ourselves when we stand in front of the mirror? How do we face God when we kneel down to pray? Many of these matters don’t need to be told to the whole world, because many of them are deep within our hearts. These are things we just work on in our journey of faith as Christians. So reflect on whether we’re reasonable. Thirdly, consider whether our actions or reactions in anger are really justified. Do we knowingly or unknowingly sin in our anger?

1. Jonah

We first look at the example of Jonah. It all started when God sent Jonah to warn the people of Nineveh that there would be impending doom. Right at the very beginning, Jonah was unwilling to go. But in a twist of events, God forced him to go even though he ran away. He was already reluctant and unhappy to go, but God somehow brought him there through the tempest and putting him in the belly of a fish. So Jonah preached to the people of Nineveh. After his preaching, the people of Nineveh actually repented (Jonah 3). They heeded his warning! Jonah 3:10 shows God saw their works and that they had turned from their evil ways, so God relented from the disaster He had said He would bring upon them. But Jonah 4:1 shows this displeased Jonah. This was what triggered God to ask Jonah the question “Is it right for you to be angry?”

Let’s understand the underlying reason Jonah was angry.

Jonah 4:2
So he prayed to the Lord, and said, “Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm.

Jonah was angry because he may have felt God was wasting his time. “God, You’re not going to destroy them anyway, why send me here to talk to them?”

He felt God was someone unjust for not punishing the wicked. “God don’t you know how wicked the people of Nineveh are? They’ve been the enemies of Your people for so long!” In his heart, he felt God was wrong. He may not have said all this out loud, but it can be inferred. So he asked God to take his life away.

When God asked him if it was right to be angry, Jonah didn’t answer. He went out of the city and sat on the east side of it. What was Jonah thinking in his heart at that time? If the city was destroyed, his anger would probably have been abated, because he was so displeased God had relented. v6 says God prepared a plant to come up over Jonah as a shade. Jonah was very grateful. v7 says God prepared a worm the next day, causing the plant to wither and die. v8 then says God prepared an east wind and the sun beat down on Jonah’s head such that he grew faint.

Jonah got angry. All this was a build up. So when God asked him a second time whether it was right to be angry, Jonah said he was right even to death!

Jonah appeared to be angry about the plant, something seemingly trivial. Oftentimes when we’re angry it’s like that. A most trivial thing can trigger an uproar. But what was the underlying reason? It wasn’t the plant and the worm, nor the east wind and sun. It was the huge dissatisfaction inside his heart. Why would an innocent plant die but the wicked people in Nineveh allowed to live? His fundamental dissatisfaction was reinforced that God was not right. He had not realised he was being inconsistent. That’s why God said to him in v10-11:
But the Lord said, “You have had pity on the plant for which you have not labored, nor made it grow, which came up in a night and perished in a night. And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than one hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their left—and much livestock?”

When Jonah ran away from Tarshish, there was a tempest when he was on the boat. He was very transparent and told the rest on the boat that he was a prophet and this was happening because he ran away. He told them everything would be okay if they threw him off the boat. He was prepared to sacrifice himself to save all the innocent people on the boat. Likewise here he had pity on the plant, but he failed to realise he didn’t have pity on the many innocent people in the city.

Sometimes when we’re angry, we act like Jonah. Perhaps we really see bad character and manifestations in people. But what we fail to see is that there may also be some good. However, sometimes we’re so overwhelmed by the negativeness and disdain we have against the person, we’re unwilling to see in balance. Just like Jonah. He was willing to sacrifice himself for innocent people. But here he openly wished for the destruction of all the people of Nineveh instead of hoping for their repentance. His inconsistency proves he was not right.

What about us today? Do we have these same kind of inconsistencies in us?

2. James and John

Luke 9:51-56
Now it came to pass, when the time had come for Him to be received up, that He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem, and sent messengers before His face. And as they went, they entered a village of the Samaritans, to prepare for Him. But they did not receive Him, because His face was set for the journey to Jerusalem. And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?” But He turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” And they went to another village.

Just because the village didn’t receive Jesus and then, James and John were so angry they wanted fire to come down to consume the whole village. They were even able to cite the example of Elijah. They must’ve thought they were right. “How dare the village of people reject the Lord? Let’s show them; let’s teach them a lesson! They need to know who we are! Let’s do like what Elijah did.”

What did the Lord Jesus say? v55-56:
But He turned and rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.”

Why were James and John angry? Was it reasonable for all villages to receive them? Of course it’s good to be hospitable but they don’t owe them a living. They don’t need to receive them. Actually this is what Jesus said. If turned away, shake the dust off your feet and continue. Since when does it justify calling fire down from heaven? They even raise Elijah as an example. But Elijah’s context was different! The fire was to consume false prophets, not the masses of people. James and John totally misunderstood and had the wrong concept. Why so? Probably self-righteousness. Sometimes when we reflect upon our anger, is it because we unknowingly had self-righteousness inside of us? “These people ought to do this! It’s the right thing to do to receive the Lord!” Of course it is. But even if they didn’t, does that justify destroying them?

Our job is to save people. Just like what Jesus said in v56. “For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” What manner of spirit are we of? If we’re such unreasonable people, what manner of spirit are we of? Is it reasonable for us to be angry? Is our reaction commensurate with the wrong that was done?

3. Older son in the Parable of the Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11-32
A certain man had two sons. The younger one asked for his share of inheritance and left the family. He went away and squandered the money away in prodigal living. When he came to his senses, he wanted to return to his father as a servant. But his father received him back as a son. And not only did he receive him back as a son with open arms, he even organised a big celebration for him.

v25-28
Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’ But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him.
The older brother was angry. He refused to go in and see his younger brother. He didn’t want to join in the celebration. His father came out to plead with him. The older son probably felt he was right. The father took the effort to coax him. Was he right to be angry? He felt he had reason to be angry.

v29-30
So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
He felt it was just so unfair. “I’ve done right all this time. I’ve put in so much! Yet not once have you given me a celebration. But this undeserving fellow!” Look at the way he told his father “as soon as this son of yours”. This was his younger brother but he referred to him as this son of yours when speaking to his father.

The older son was telling his father, “See the contrast! Everyday I’ve been faithfully doing this. And what do I get? Nothing! (No fatted calf killed for me.) Not appreciated. I have served you many years versus as soon as he came back. He didn’t have to do a lot of things! Just as soon as he came back, you did all this for him! You never even see what I have done. As a comparison, I never transgressed. I served you faithfully. While he devoured your livelihood with harlots. Yet you welcome him like treasure!” (The Chinese have a saying: 你把我当草，把他当宝 you treat me like grass and treat him like treasure.)

The older son was so angry.

When we look at things from our angle, this is how we would react; we would feel we are right to be angry. The more we think about it, the angrier we become. Was it true the younger son was a prodigal? Yes. Did he do wrong? Yes he did many wrongs. This was a fact. Was the older brother really faithful in all the things he did? Yes he was.

What was the underlying reason he was angry? He only stopped at the surface of looking at the facts where he was the more deserving good guy, while his brother was the undeserving bad guy. He saw only these facts. But what did he fail to see?

v31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.
‘Son’. The father called him ‘son’. “I do see and love you as my son. Not grass. You are my son. You have always been my son. But he is also my son.”

“Son, you are always with me. And all that I have is yours. You want to have a goat? Go and have a goat! You want something with your friends? Go ahead it’s yours! This has always been yours.”

v32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’
“You might think it’s not right for me to celebrate. Let me tell you it’s right to kill a fatted calf. Why? Not because MY SON, but because YOUR BROTHER is alive. Because YOUR BROTHER was lost, but now is found!”

This was what the older brother didn’t see. So what was the underlying reason for his anger? It wasn’t about celebration and no celebration. If it was just this, then the easy way to resolve it would be to not have a celebration. But that wouldn’t solve it because the real fundamental problem was his narrow heart. He was jealous.

So we think about ourselves. Why are or were we angry with certain people? Because we think they do not deserve what they have. We may feel shy to admit it. Perhaps a colleague is promoted before we are. Perhaps someone else is more recognised than you. Perhaps someone has achieved more than you. Deep in our hearts we may say: But he not so smart what! Is he really that good?

We cannot take it. So we sometimes try to find fault, pounce on it and say, “See!” The more we see, the more angry we get.

Remember what the Bible says. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Often we can weep with those who weep but not rejoice with those who rejoice, because our hearts are too narrow.

That’s probably the reason for the older son’s anger. But his father told him “your brother” not “my son”. He was so narrow he would rather not have his brother return and be dead instead of alive.

Are we this narrow? If we are, then borrowing the words of Jesus, what manner of spirit are we of?

4. Eliab (David’s oldest brother)

1 Sam 17:28
Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”
What was the issue here? When the Philistines came to battle with the Israelites, they sent for Goliath who taunted the Israelites. The people were all very very afraid. They didn’t dare to go fight with Goliath. But when David came to find his brothers, was it the case which Eliab accused him of? Because of pride and insolence; that he was just coming to be a busybody; that he just wanted to have some fun and see the battle? Not at all.

17:17-18
It was actually Jesse their father who sent David to bring some food for his brothers, and to bring news back to him. So David went according to his father’s instructions. When he got here and realised the issue of Goliath, he started asking the people around. When his oldest brother heard it, he was so angry. Why?

Look at how David answered him. v29 What have I done now?

Eliab’s anger was without a cause. No reason at all. What have I done now?

Sometimes when we are on the receiving end of anger, we sometimes wonder: why ah? We really don’t understand why, like David.

Saul was also angry with David. If we read those accounts, David twice asked Saul what have I done? Actually he had done nothing; nothing to incur their wrath or anger.

So we think about it. When we’re angry with people. Do those people really know? If we are unreasonable, what could they do? What do we want them to do? What would make them happy?

Why was Eliab angry? On one hand, it could have been because he was concerned for his brother. On the other hand, he was probably embarrassed. They were big men supposed to fight, but didn’t dare. Now this little boy comes and wants to fight.

Sometimes we are angry because people are trying to do the right things we aren’t able to. It exposes our own inadequacies. We get angry but it’s unreasonable.

There are all these different reasons in the Bible. As we learn the word of God today, we all need to reflect.

The speaker has been angry before. He has observed people angry. He reads about people angry in the Bible. These are all lessons for us.

Firstly be very clear to understand why we are angry. Is it our inconsistency? Or own self-righteousness? Our narrow heart? Our embarrassment (which is actually our pride)? Think about it. Is it reasonable? If we are angry without a cause we have to be very careful because the Lord Jesus Christ says in Matt 5:22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. We need to be very very careful. The Bible also tells us: be angry but do not sin (Eph 4:26). Apart from blowing up, one very serious thing we need to be very careful is what’s said in Proverbs.

Prov 29:22
An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in transgression.
When we’re angry sometimes we blow up. But sometimes after we blow up and calm down, we’re okay and feel a bit embarrassed. It was unnecessary but it happens. It’s bad but still not so bad. What the Bible says here is worse. Because we’re angry, we go behind and start stirring strife amongst brothers. In the office we become the most political person; because we’re angry we stir up strife amongst our colleagues. If we’re Christian and do this, that’s bad. Even worse if it’s done in church. “Just because I dislike somebody I go behind and stir up some strife.” Be angry but do not sin.

Jas 1:19-20
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
These verses tell us to be slow to wrath, and then reminds us that the wrath of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.

May the word of God move us to always be willing to face our weaknesses and shortfalls. Let the spirit of God transform us to be the good person He wants us to be.