A friend ranges from someone you associate with all the way to someone you love. This sermon will talk about Jonathan who was an example of a friend.

We need friends in this world. We also need to be friends to people. Very often we demand of others things we cannot do ourselves. Especially in church we need friends, because the road to heaven is not easy. We begin by first being a friend. And we can learn from Jonathan.

1 Sam 18:1
Jonathan admired David. This verse says he loved David as his own soul. Jonathan was a friend out of love, and not a friend who sought benefits. We have to think when we’re friendly to people whether we do it out of love or out of seeking benefits. It’s quite common that during certain occasions if there’re famous people around, people would like to take photographs with them, and then later frame the photo up. One of the speaker’s colleagues who has even less hair than him took a picture with the then Minister of Education Tharman Shanmugaratnam. He framed the picture and put it on his wall. Thurman had even less hair than him lol

Sometimes people want to be friends because they want benefits. But in church we ought to want to be friends because we love the other person. In the case of David since he was strong and powerful, someone admirable, but he was also someone good. We can love and want to be friends with someone good. But we can also be friends to those who need our love. In any occasion, we should not seek to be friends to gain benefits. The benefits will come if the friendship is true. And Jonathan loved David as his own soul. He was in an awkward position because he was the crown prince, and his father king Saul was very jealous of David. He wanted to kill David. What does a friend do? He could think of his own interest and see David as a threat to his position as crown prince. But he wasn’t like that. A friend defends another friend.

1 Sam 19:4-6
Jonathan defended his friend, and in this occasion, he saved his friend’s life. The worst attack on a person’s integrity is when a person believed to be his friend speaks badly of him.

In the university, if you’re applying for promotion, to be an associate professor, you need 6 references. 3 nominated by the candidate himself and 3 independently nominated by the head of department. For a full professor, you need 6 of each. Putting a portfolio together including his publications, teachings and service, the reposts are debated by the deans of the faculties. The thing that will kill the application very quickly is when one of the nominated referees speaks badly of the candidate. The nominated referee is the one the candidate puts up, supposed to be his friend. If this friend says, “Ah his research is rubbish”, then he’s finished. That’s the most damaging report.

As a friend, if we can’t say a good thing, then we should not say anything. Because a status of a friend is very powerful. To say something bad about a friend behind his back is very damaging. It may be the truth. But quite often friends will say, “I don’t want to say anything”. So we have to defend our friends. Because as it is, the speaker is sure he has enough enemies.

When we hear bad things about our friends, we can always discuss with him privately. We shouldn’t add oil to the fire.

So Jonathan defended his friend. Jonathan protected his friend.

1 Sam 19:2
Jonathan was in a difficult situation, because it was father against friend. It seems decisions would be hard to make. There seemed to be many principles to follow. Some of these principles seemed to collide. Is it true we should follow the principle: “blood is thicker than water?” In which case we should follow our family instead of friend. Or be like the triads where it’s blood brother against the world.

For Jonathan it was clear, it was just the case of the principle of right against wrong. Justice against injustice. Life against death. There are things if we’re close to a friend, we will know when to help a person. It could be a case of financial trouble, emotional distress, family problems. But a good friend like Jonathan was willing to help. He goes beyond that.

1 Sam 20:22-23
This was an agreement Jonathan made with David to find out if his father was really going to kill David.

v30-34
Jonathan angered Saul so much that crazy Saul threw a javelin at him. But he was willing to risk his life for his friend. Tomorrow is our Holy Communion. We should recall/remember that we have a friend who gave His life for us. Jesus said, “Greater love has no than this, to lay down one.’S life for his friend.”

When we consider the friendships that we have, each of us individually with our own friendships, would we sacrifice our lives for our friends? Sometimes in the working place when there’s injustice and we may be in a position to say something for our friend, would we do it? Or are we afraid of losing our jobs? Most times people are afraid of losing their jobs so injustice continues.

We have to think whether this sacrifice for our friends is worthwhile. Sometimes we say we can’t help it because we have families. If we lose our job then our families will suffer. In many of these situations, we will be able to overcome if we find that we do not overextend ourselves financially. Although very few of us are our own bosses and we work for other people, we can still be our own boss if we are not totally dependent on the company for our income. We find that for matters of principle, we can move from one place to another. In these kind of situations, we can protect ourselves and also defend others. Otherwise these people are bullied.

Jonathan was always a brave man. The first time we hear of him is when he and his armour bearer attacked the garrison of the Philistines.

Nowadays, little is said about courage. People do reckless things but that’s not courage. For example, taking selfies very close to the cliff edge, and falling down and dying. Courage is knowing danger and doing it because of justice.

Jonathan was a good friend, and this was another occasion we see he was a good friend.
1 Sam 23:17
And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Even my father Saul knows that.”
What a friend! A friend is willing to take second place. The speaker remembers that when he was young, he and Bro Teck Kiang we’re very close. They did everything together. Church work, games, squash, anything. And in the way of life, he was engaged to sis Lan Chow, and the speaker was relegated to the backseat. But it was ok! Why was it ok?

John 3:29-30
John the Baptist was also willing to play second fiddle to Jesus. When the bridegroom comes, friends will be happy! A lot of young people here today; you’re at the time of age where your friends will suddenly have a partner - you should feel happy for your friend. And not try to cling on to that friend and say, “You’re not spending enough with me. Why’re you always spending time with him?” We should be happy, if our friend is happy. Especially this kind of matters.

The speaker still remembers Teck Kiang’s car. A red Mitsubishi. The license plate was 5962. Teck Kiang said, “Yeah it’s a good number! Because I’m born in 1959 and she’s born in 1962!” Actually the speaker is also born in 1962 but Teck Kiang never said that about him! (LOL)

Young people in church today should be happy when our friend has a partner in church.

A good friend will not separate husband and wife, parent and child. David was also a good friend to Jonathan. David did not ask Jonathan to rebel against his father even though it was very clear Saul was wrong, and it was very clear Jonathan was willing to be second to David. David didn’t rebel against Saul, neither did he ask Jonathan to leave his father.

The friends parted, but they were tied to each other by their love for each other. Let us see the love they had for each other.

1 Sam 20:41
The friends had to part, and they did not demand of each other to break their family ties. Each has their duty to do. So friends do not impose on family. As a friend you cannot say, “I must spend time with this person” and then neglect your husband/wife. We can only do things for our friend with the support of our family.

What made them very close together?
1 Sam 23:16 (read)
They were friends in the will of God. The speaker always had many friends from primary school to secondary school. He was always seen with a gang of 4. When two fellas leave, two fellas will join. But most important to him are friends who are brothers in church. Because such a friendship is in God. Although he has tried to preach to his outside friends to make them brothers and brought them to church but have not been successful in making a friend a brother; it’s important to make a friend a brother. That’s the best thing you can give your friend.

While we have many friends, we should appreciate and cherish those who are brothers.

Prov 18:24
English translation: A man who has friends must first be friendly
Chinese translation: A man who has many friends/makes friends easily will harm himself
Because the word ‘friend’ and ‘evil’ in Hebrew look a little bit alike.

According for the Chinese version, we do not simply make friends. Too many friends. Hehe haha laugh with everybody. One birthday party a week. We do harm to ourselves.

But there’s a friend who sticks close to a brother.

Friends who’re brothers and sisters are very important. These friends can also be your spouse. Actually it’s important that your spouse is your friend.

Today is the speaker’s 27th wedding anniversary, so he wrote a poem to his wife:
Twenty seven years, how they fly
Hand in hand, side by side.
Tear and laughter, rapture and sigh;
Made good with God beside.

Our friendship will last if God is with us. Our spouse is our friend who’ll take us through life. And our children will also be lie friends. We must first be their friend.

Friends must walk together.
2 Chron 20:7, Jas 2:23, 4:4
Doing a search on two key words ‘friend’ and ‘God’, these are the only 3 verses that came out. Supposedly, Abraham is the only friend of God. But if we search for the plural ‘friends’, Jesus also said He no longer calls His disciples friends.

God is a friend to us. But are we a friend to God? God has done everything for us. What have we done for God?

Abraham was a friend of God because he walked with God.
Amos 3:3, Micah 6:8
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”
“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?”

How can two walk together unless they agree?
How can we be friends unless we agree?

There’re some people we enjoy walking with. We can walk anywhere and at any pace. They will know. They will adjust. If you go to a new place, they won’t insist on going to some other particular place and say “you must go to that place!” And even if he insists, he insists because he knows the other person will agree.

Some people are hard to walk with. Some walk too fast. Some walk too slow. Some walk to places we don’t want to go. Some are more interested in their own things than the conversation during the walk.

How can two walk together unless they are agreed?

It always takes one person to give in and be nice. If the other person reciprocates then we have a friendship.

God always takes the lead. Can you walk with Him? He carried the cross and walked to Golgotha. What did He say? “Take up your cross and follow Me.”

If we want to walk with God, can we take a little bit of suffering?

You come to church and worship Him. Nothing can stop us. Whether rain or hot sun or traffic jam, we’ll always be here. This is just a small little cross to carry.

If you want to walk with God, Micah says 3 things:

1. do justice
2. love mercy
3. walk humbly

Very important. Think carefully of these 3 things.

What’s our Singapore pledge?
Justice and equality (ignore prosperity lol). Equality comes from humility right? If a person is proud he creates elitism.

You walk humbly with God. You love mercy and justice.

When we walk with our friends, we do the same. Jonathan was such a good example. Such a great character. And he had a tragic end. But God knows. And God will bless him.

Do we want to be a blessing to others? A channel of blessing to everyone. If all of us agree we want to be a friend, the church will be wonderful.