This sermon explores two characters who uttered regretful words before their deaths.
Are we content with what the Lord has given us or are we like Rachel who always wanted something more?
When Jesus does not give us what we want, will we continue in His ways or desert Jesus like Judas did?

Throughout the life we’ve lived, everyone has expressed words of regret. When a student receives his exams result, very often he laments, ‘if only I had studied more!’ But the results have already been given and there is no more you can do. This is often one of the greatest regrets in one’s life - to miss the opportunity to do what you can while you had the opportunity. We often utter these words: “if only I had known…”. Or sometimes people say, ‘I could have done this’, ‘I should have done that’. At least the student still has a second chance. He can study harder for the next exams. What is the greatest tragedy in life? It is to utter these same words, at your last breath. Because there is no more second chance. There is no longer an opportunity to make amends. In this sermon we will discuss 2 characters in the Bible - one in the Old Testament, one in the New Testament. We see that the last words they uttered were words of regret. We can imagine how regretful they were.

1. Rachel

Gen 35:16-19
16 Then they journeyed from Bethel. And when there was but a little distance to go to Ephrath, Rachel labored in childbirth, and she had hard labor. 17 Now it came to pass, when she was in hard labor, that the midwife said to her, “Do not fear; you will have this son also.” 18 And so it was, as her soul was departing (for she died), that she called his name Ben-Oni; but his father called him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem).

This passage talks about the death of Rachel. She died giving birth to her younger son, Benjamin. but Benjamin was not the original name. Jacob changed it to Benjamin. Rachel’s last words were actually to name him “Ben-oni”. Biblical names usually have meaning, just as we give our children meaningful names today. What does Ben-oni mean? The footnote says “son of my sorrow”. It was a name that usually parents would not give to their children. Imagine calling your son “sorrow”. “Hey son of my sorrow, come!” That’s why Jacob changed his name. Why did Rachel name him ‘son of my sorrow’? She had hard labour and died because of him. This name is significant in the life of Rachel. We need to take a look at the life of Rachel to see why these last words were so regretful to her. Her life also serves as a reflection to our own lives. She is the classic example of the one who is never satisfied in life. She was never content with what she had. And she was not willing to lose out to anyone.

Gen 29:17
Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.

Rachel had the edge over Leah right from the beginning. She was beautiful in form and appearance. The Bible tells us the sad truth - in v18, that ‘Jacob loved Rachel, and in v30 as well. “He loved Rachel more than Leah.” We can experience Leah’s pain. She saw Jacob’s love for Rachel and knew that her husband did not have the same love for her. When we look at the story later on, we see that God is very fair. See v31: ‘When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren’. Very quickly Leah bore 4 sons for Jacob. V33- Reuben, Simeon. V34- Levi. V35- Judah. In quick succession she bore 4 sons for Jacob. God is indeed very fair. The problem with us sometimes is we only see how well other people are doing. We don’t notice the problems they are having. Rachel was beautiful, had all the attention of Jacob. But she had no children. An onlooker must think that Leah must be very happy, she has 4 sons! But she did not have the love of the husband. Everyone has their own problems. Where then does the problem arise? The problem arises when we are not satisfied with what we have.

Gen 30:1
Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!”

When she saw she had no children, she felt shameful. She made an unreasonable demand - that Jacob should give her child. So Jacob got angry, and said, “am I in the place of God?” Human beings are strange creatures. When everyone does not have something, all is ok. For example, if everyone stays in attap houses, everyone would be happy. You would feel it’s fair, because everyone is staying in an attap house. But when someone stays in a mansion, others will be jealous. There is also no problem when I have something that others don’t have. Where does the problem arise? When you have something that I do not have. That, to many people, is intolerable. Before Leah had children, she was fine because she had the love of her husband. Now that Leah had 4 sons, she became envious. When you are envious, there’s this sore feeling in you. You are no longer happy to have what you had in the past.

Jas 3:16
“or where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”
There will be strife, and people start competing with one another. That is where evil starts to arise.

What did Rachel do? She did something that no woman would do. She gave her maid to her husband. Leah, not to be outdone, also did the same thing. She already had four sons, but in order not to lose out, she also gave her own maid to her husband (V9). It was the idea that, ‘though we both have, I want to have more than you’. They were not happy with each other. When we read this as Singaporeans, we understand what they are doing. We are a very competitive society. We have been taught to compete since we were young.

This is the exaggerated story of a child. This child scored 80 marks on her exam and showed it to her mother. The mother got very angry. The mother scolded, “Why did you not work harder? Only 80 marks? No more TV until the next test.” On the next test, she scored 98. She went home, happily. The mother nodded, not bad. She asked her, “what’s the highest mark?” The child said, “My friend got 99 marks”. The mother’s face changed. “Why did you make this silly mistake?” The next test, the child got 100 marks. Again she went home and showed the mother, the mother asked, “Were you the only one with full marks?” The child said no. The mother’s face changed. “What is wrong with your teacher? Why did he set such a simple test?”

Of course, this story is made up, but this is reflective of our nature! We do not know how to lose. It seems as if we cannot afford to lose in life. That was the life of Rachel. None of us will forever be on the winning end.

Paul teaches us in Philippians to be content in whatever state we are in.

Phil 4:12-13
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Here, Paul says that in whatever circumstances he is in, he knows how to handle it. How did he know how to handle it? “I have learned” in other words, contentment must be learnt. It does not come naturally to us in human nature. Our human nature is not to be content. Here says, learn to be content. What happens if we are not content? We will become like Rachel. Rachel was never content. In fact, God is kind and eventually gave her a son. But she still wanted more.

After God had given Rachel a son, she wanted another one. Having one was not enough. She wanted more. When God gives you what you want, you might not actually want what God gave you. So God fulfilled her wish, gave her Benjamin. But she had to pay for Benjamin with her life. She had strived with her sister her whole life. At the end of the striving, she uttered “Ben-Oni”. Ultimately she had only brought sorrow upon herself. She was not buried next to Jacob because she died on the way. Leah ultimately was buried next to Jacob. She wanted to win Leah, her sister, her whole life. But she lost everything. She lost her life. She lost the right to be buried next to Jacob. We also ought to take heed of Rachel’s last words. Are we going to also strive and strive in our lives? Should we not be content with what we have?

This second character also uttered last words of regret.

2. Judas Iscariot

Matt 27:3-5
Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that He had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” And they said, “What is that to us? You see to it!” Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hanged himself.

When Judas saw that Jesus was condemned, he didn’t feel elated. Before this, Judas had already received his 30 pieces of silver, which was what Judas thought was enough to betray Jesus for. When he fulfilled his end of the bargain, he felt remorseful. Before this, did he feel remorse? He didn’t feel a sense of guilt before this. V22 first records of Satan entering Judas. That’s when he first conceived the idea to betray Jesus. When Satan entered him again, he had no regret. But when he accomplished what he thought was worth it, it was like he woke up from a dream, it was then that he realised, ‘what have I done?’ He wanted to return the 30 pieces of silver. His last words were: “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood”

Some ask, if Judas had repented, would he have been saved? This was the point of no return. Jesus had said, “Woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born!” (Matt 26:24) Judas had been given many opportunities to return. Jesus had pointed it out to him many times. When he uttered these last words, it was in deep regret. It was in utter despair. The story of Judas is a sad tragedy. It was not originally meant to be so. He was chosen just like the other 11 disciples.

Acts 1:17
for he was numbered with us and obtained a part in this ministry.
The 12 were chosen for ministry to witness to Jesus’ ministry and his resurrection. Not anyone could be one of the twelve. It was not up to you to be one of the twelve. You must first be born at the right time. Out of all human history, this was the only time when Jesus would be born. “when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son”. If we were born today, we would have no chance to be part of that. Even if we had been born at that time, we would have to be born at the right place. And even if we had been born at the right time and right place, there were only 12 chosen! And they were chosen solely according to God’s choice. Not according to your choice. This was a very honorable and great ministry. How did Jesus go about choosing his disciples?

Lk 6:12-13
Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. And when it was day, He called His disciples to Himself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles:

Jesus prayed all through the night on the mountain before he came down to choose the 12. He was not praying to choose someone to betray Him. He was choosing those who would do great things for Him. Judas was really no different from the rest of the disciples when he was chosen.

Matt 10:1
And when He had called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.

Jesus gave all 12 disciples the same power. Judas was given the same power as the rest of the 11. He cast out demons. He healed sicknesses. He heard the same teachings as the other disciples. He witnessed the same miracles as the disciples. Everything seems to be the same.
What was the cause of his downfall? The main reason we know is greed. Some writers suggest that he had a higher motive - Judas was trying to force Jesus to start a political uprising. Why else would he betray Jesus for just 30 pieces of silver? He could have asked for more. But this reason has no biblical basis. The Bible tells us simply, he was greedy. Maybe he didn’t ask for more because he didn’t know the worth of Jesus. But he had been greedy all along.

Jn 12:3-8
Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it. But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.”

This is the famous story of Mary anointing Jesus. The other gospel writes that it was not just Judas who said this. There were other disciples who said the same thing. They were indignant. Why was this not sold and money given to the poor? But there was a difference, those disciples really cared for the poor. They would be thinking, Jesus led such a simple life, why use this expensive oil on Him? The other disciples’ problem was that they had the wrong value system. They didn’t understand that whatever you did on Jesus, it was always worth it. No matter how extravagant it seemed. But they genuinely were concerned for the poor. Judas was entirely different. He says the same thing as the other disciples, he sounds as if he is very concerned for the poor, when actually he just wanted money in the money box. V6 ‘he was a thief’.

We don’t know when he started to steal. Probably when he started, he only took a little money. Then he became more audacious, taking what he wanted. “He used to take whatever was put in it” (V6) He might have even thought, this is my right, because I have to take care of the money box. But then this wasn’t enough for him. We know then that the money box would not have a lot of money. He needed more.

Some people say, I’m just a little bit greedy. I’m not going to become Judas. Why can’t I want more money? Greed is something very insidious. You may say it’s not harming anyone. But more importantly, consider, where is your heart? Is it with God or with man? What do you value above all? Is it what is temporary or what is eternal? Let’s not think that Judas was someone completely without a conscience. If he had no conscience, he would not have felt remorse.

In pioneering areas, there are some who greedily take over the whole church building. Those people have no conscience. They think it’s their money. Are they ever remorseful? They happily spend the money they have taken over by illegal means. Judas was not one without conscience. He felt remorse. He didn’t even use the money. He held it for a short time. He was deceived by greed. Greed can deceive us. We don’t know what we are doing when we have been consumed by greed. It starts small. We are greedy about small things. We may think at first, ‘does it matter? Slowly, it eats into you. Finally, it consumes you. If we don’t overcome even that little greed in us, our greed will eventually cause our downfall.

Take a look at Judas again. Why then did he follow Jesus? Why did he give up everything in the past to follow Jesus? Why did he follow Jesus to the end and end up in this sad state? Initially, all the disciples thought that Christ would establish a physical kingdom. None of them really understood about the death and resurrection of Jesus. Judas probably also had his own notions. He probably thought, I’ll be the Finance Minister when Jesus becomes king. This wasn’t too different from the rest of the disciples. James and John quarrelled over who would be the greatest. Wherein lies the difference? The difference takes place when Jesus does not give you what you want. Unlike the other disciples, Judas never really loved and believed in the Lord.

In John 6, the multitude stopped following the Lord, because Jesus did not give them what they wanted. They wanted physical bread, but Jesus gave them the bread of life. When Jesus asked the disciples if they too would leave, Peter answered, “To whom shall we go?” Whatever flaws the disciples had, they ultimately believed in Jesus for eternal life. And they were really willing to give everything up to follow Jesus. But Judas did not truly believe. V64 “Some of you do not believe” referring to Judas.“ One of you is the devil”. He remained not because he believed. If Jesus isn’t going to give me what I want, I will go my own way.

Acts 1:25
to take part in this ministry and apostleship from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.

Judas was originally in the ministry and apostleship. He fell by transgression. The Chinese bible says, actually ‘he gave it up’, that he might go to his own place. He stopped following the Lord’s way, to go to his own way and his own place. Deep in our hearts, we have things we want in this life. We want eternal life. Yet there are other things we want in this life. It may not be riches. It could be anything - having our sicknesses healed or marriage. The question is, what happens when Jesus does not give you what you want? What would you do? Is it, ‘either my way, or the highway’? We are not the apostles, but we are the elect. We have a royal status. Is it worth it to give up what we have, to get what we want? Let us always reconsider. Is it worth it? Judas thought it was worth it. At the beginning. But he only had the 30 pieces of silver for a short period of time, and he utterly regretted it. What about us? The last words of Judas Iscariot are a reminder for us. The temporary is never worth exchanging for what is eternal. What would we rather have? The eternal or the temporary?