Summary: When I put aside my usual self, who am I? When I lose my riches and abilities, who am I? When I am without help and lose my mobility, who am I? When I lose my beauty, who am I? When my soul departs from my body, who am I?
I have a body that can be seen but inside this visible body is an invisible soul. I have a temporary life but I also have eternal life. I am a man full of contradictions and my actions and thoughts are often in contrast. When I have high blood pressure, I take medication because I am afraid to die, yet when I see delicious food, I eat without worrying about my life. I have the spirit of God in me but my thoughts and actions are as though I do not know God.
Main points:

1. I am a son but still a sinner
2. I have the Holy Spirit but also human lust
3. Besides my flesh, I also have a soul

96: Amazing Grace 奇异恩典

Not many of us would often ask this question: who am I?
Instead, we often ask others: who are you?

It’s not that we want to truly understand the other party but we ask with the intention to undermine the other person. As we ask ourselves, “Who am I?”, we get to understand ourselves better and find the true self in you.

2 years ago, West Malaysia held the International Assembly. The southern region was arranged to do the church cleaning. The speaker was appointed with some youths to undertake this work. He was very happy. On one hand, he was able to serve brothers and sisters and at the same time was timely reminded that he was but a servant.

When I put aside my usual self, who am I? When I lose my riches and abilities, who am I? When I am without help and lose my mobility, who am I? When I lose my beauty, who am I? When my soul departs from my body, who am I? These are meaningful questions.

A man can be compared to a coin with two sides. One side is gold while the other is rusty. The high point of a person’s life is when he is able to manifest love. The low point of a person’s life is when he takes away life mercilessly.

I have two extremes - I have a body that can be seen but inside this visible body is an invisible soul. I have a temporary life but I also have eternal life. I am a man full of contradictions and my actions and thoughts are often in contrast. When I have high blood pressure, I take medication because I am afraid to die. When I see delicious food, I eat without worrying about my life. I have the spirit of God in me but my thoughts and actions are as though I do not know God. I know that I will one day depart this world but I do not want to face this fact to prepare for then.

1 “I am a son and a sinner.”

The Lord Jesus in His parable talked about the prodigal son. He had two statuses - the son of a rich man and the servant of a person who rears pigs.

Romans 7:25
‘I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.’

In the past, I incur the wrath of God through my sins. Thank God that He has died on the cross for sinners. But this soul is still inhabited in a physical body and this body because of the control of sin continues to head towards death. Therefore, death is the end of all man. Whether you believe in God or not, men will always have the bad habit of looking at their own good points but are reluctant to acknowledge personal foolishness. We do not dare to examine ourselves perhaps because we don’t want to manage it. If we spend more time examining our weaknesses, we would be able to understand them better. Naturally, we would thank God for He has among millions of people chose me to become His child though I don’t deserve this mercy.

What do I have that is better than others, that I deserve the choice of God?

Romans 8:29-30
‘For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.’

We are sinners yet God has foreknew us. The book of Ephesians says that God has already chosen us before the creation of the world. To prophet Jeremiah, He says that He has already chosen us before we were in our mother’s womb. To the time of God’s foreknowing, to the time of choosing, to the time of fruits-bearing, God used His love to save stubborn sinners (us) so that we may turn to Him. Through the blood of His beloved Son shall he become righteous. In his Last Days, he will resurrect to enter into His eternal glory (heaven).

Today, we do not depend on our own righteousness but upon the grace of God to become His children.

Romans 3:24
‘being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,’

The Chinese version has a meaning that this gift is given without any price.

Romans 4:5
‘But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness, ‘

As long as we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, righteousness is given to us freely. There is a saying that there is no free lunch in the world. Even if there were free things, you would have to register your personal details to redeem them. Our personal particulars are worth something. In the process of salvation, what is the price that our Lord Jesus Christ had to pay? That the glorious God had to become a humble man to die on the cross. When the speaker considers how he from a sinner became a son of God, he thanks God.

2 “I have the Holy Spirit and humanly lust.”

Who among us, after receiving the Holy Spirit, lose all our human lusts immediately? Perhaps you felt super when you received the Holy Spirit because your bad habits and thoughts were gone for a while. But as time passes, you find that the bad habits come back. If there is a fire among the wild grass, it continues to burn and burn. When there is wind, the fire becomes big again. Sometimes, even we ourselves are uncertain. We seem to be people who have received the Holy Spirit. But when we look at our own behaviour, we know that we lack the power of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:17
‘For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.’

Our flesh is like a battlefield - a battlefield between the flesh and human lust. It is hard to maintain a neutral position. When we are making arrangements for the flesh, we will grieve the Holy Spirit. When we submit to the Holy Spirit, our flesh will call out to you saying that you are in trouble - “I need you! Why do you need to pray at the end of such a busy day? One day only!”, “You are usually so zealous, just relax tonight! You are not committing murder.”

If Abraham wanted to keep Isaac (born through the spirit) and Ishmael (born through the flesh), there would be no peace in the family. God told him to drive away what is born of the flesh.

Romans 8:13
‘For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.’

This is a battle between life and death. It is not about the life and death of the physical body but of the soul. When we fail in battle, it is not that you may die but that you WILL die! It is only through putting to death the needs of the body can we enjoy peace. If not, you will find that you struggle with committing sins and then pray for forgiveness from God. Do you want to continue in such a vicious cycle throughout your life?

Very often when we ask God for forgiveness, we are also unsure if our prayers for repentance are done out of sincerity for we know that we commit the sins knowingly. At the same time, we dare not commit ourselves to God that we will not do these things again because we know that it won’t be the last time we commit the sins. We are unable to free ourselves from the bondage of sin. Sometimes we are tightened and sometimes loosened from sin. If we are diligent to pursue upwards, we will be able to meet the glorious status. If we allow ourselves to slide into depravity, we can also reach the lowest status.

The speaker has a very close church brother. According to age, he is the oldest. Among them, he is also the first to receive the Holy Spirit. After receiving the Holy Spirit, he was very zealous and strived to serve God. He could certainly become a vessel in the house of God. But he indulged in the desires of the flesh and fell to unthinkable circumstances. Even gentiles would be shocked at the things he did.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
‘For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, ‘

Here encourages us that we need to possess our vessel in sanctification and honour because God has called us to become holy people. In the parable of the Prodigal Son, how did the youngest son backslide to the point of living with the pigs? Pigs are unclean animals to the Jews and spiritually speaking, pigs represent what is unholy and sinful. It was not just a matter of having no choice but rather he had forgotten his status. The Bible says that when he awoke, he went back home. If he had remembered earlier that he had such a loving father at home, there would be no need for him to live with pigs.

In Malaysia, they have friends of another race who are sensitive to pigs. They are also sometimes sensitive when they see physical crosses. If we were to put aside our prejudice against them, we can say that they are very religious people. Sometimes when you wish for a longer sleep in Malaysia, you would hear people making prayers in the morning. If it were us, what do we do? Were we not sleeping? Sometimes we even forget to pray because we have slept in too late. If we are always conscious that we have a very honourable status and that our souls have been purchased by a heavy price by God, we would not give ourselves up easily to our lust to defile our soul.

3 “I have my soul and flesh.”

As we strive to improve the quality of our lives (not limited to just filling our stomachs but rather what we should eat to maintain our health), we eat health products and exercise to keep healthy. This is good because we care about the body God has given to us. Among us may be some who are more conscious of beauty. As they age, they get wrinkles when they smile. Some eat collagen or go for botox. But no matter how well you eat, how well you exercise or how advanced medicine gets, who can increase his life by a single span? Who can avoid death? No one. Whatever we do can be said to be short-sighted; those of us who only make preparations for our physical bodies are myopic. We can only see our physical bodies but do not pay attention to our souls.

All of us have a smartphone. Apart from the hardware of the phone, there is also a constant need to upgrade the software. If we do not upgrade the software, the phone starts processing slower and slower. We must understand that this is also true for our souls. How do we know if this person has made preparation for the future? By his savings. One saves because he looks forward to the future. Otherwise, he would spend whatever he can in his indulgence. If a Christian knows how to store treasure in heaven, this shows that his heart is in heaven because he looks towards eternity. Is this true for us? If we look at our savings on earth compared to the contributions towards the heavenly kingdom, how would it look like?

There is a saying: let us not live in heaven with our money in the banks. If you are truly in heaven, it won’t be too bad. What happens if you were in Hades? People would have to burn money for you in the seventh month. Let us not become the foolish rich man for he is only successful in his short life on earth. In the eternal kingdom of God, he is foolish. Though he also made preparations for his soul by telling his soul, “You have enough and can rest and enjoy”, our souls don’t need all these. Our souls need to return to our Heavenly Father.

When are we going to start preparing for our souls? The insurance agents would encourage you to start as early as possible. It is true that it is never too late to start now. In John 3, Jesus was speaking to a rabbi. Jesus did not feel that this rabbi was too old. Neither did He feel that this rabbi would become so stubborn to entrench his thoughts in the Jewish teachings. Instead, the Lord Jesus explained to him patiently regarding the kingdom of God. In the eyes of Jesus Christ, there is never a time that is too late to enter the kingdom of God.

Who am I?

I am made of dust. Yet, the Lord has already foreknown me by name. Just like He appointed His prophets by name, He will also record my name in the Book of Life. On that day, I shall be called out according to the names of the Book and a new name shall be given to me.

449: And Can it Be That I Should Gain? 何能如此